Devouring Time

breatheinmoments
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Name: London
Birthday: 5/5/1988
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 1/1/2007

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Seventeen

I don't have that much to say. We made penne with tomato/basil/garlic sauce in the basement kitchen. It was pretty good.

I keep failing diet-wise...though I have gotten to the gym twice this week, and hopefully four times this week (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday). We'll have to see.

I hate accounting. I look like an idiot in the class. Grrr...

I think I might have some form of chronic depression...and sometimes I think about the "S" word, but I would never actually. And I want to volunteer at the help center...hmph.

I need to write a resume, and I have nothing to put on it. It's pathetic. How I am supposed to get a job without first having gotten a job? I really need to get involved. I am thinking of going to a coed honor fraternity meet night tomorrow... I'll see.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Sixteen

I have a lot to say. I think I am technically drunk right now, but I am actually quite sober. Let me start from the beginning. Last Monday, V and I went shopping and we cooked Tuesday with Claire and Nancy. (Enchiladas.) And we made plans to drink the next Wednesday (today). So here we are. Claire brought (cheap) Vodka, Southern Comfort, and Peach Schnapps. We played Shots and Ladders from a "board" we printed out. It took a while, but with the chutes and a desire to be drunk, we got 3 shots each. It took awhile, but V got pretty drunk; the rest of us were okay. Then Kayla and her friend Richie came over. That was about an hour ago. V called Carnie while she was rather drunk, though she was okay until she started reciting Donne, at which point I told Carnie what was going on. I've had 6 drinks but I think I am now the most sober person in the room. Nancy has had about 5 drinks and she is drunk. I am still sober because I AM FAT. Ritchie seems pretty cool. He kept talking to me, like, specifically to me. But I was okay, maybe because I am sort of drunk. But he and Kayla got pretty close, like, laying next to each other on the floor whispering close. Which is fine, but I feel like Kayla wants to take a break from Michael, which is said. And Ritchie has a gf who goes to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. How hot is that?? Umm....oh, I think V, when drunk, acts like herself x100. Nancy...is quieter but clumsier. She spilled stuff on herself. I forgot to say, but before Kayla and Ritchie got here, Nancy and Claire took off their shirts and bras, and V took off her shirt and when we were talking about nipples, pulled down her bra. I, however, remained fully clothed, maybe because there's not enough alcohol in the world to make me feel comfortable with my body. ANYWAY...later, when Richie (who, btw, is a guy) was here, V pulled up her shirt to show me something, and later when Nancy and Claire spilled something on themselves, they took off their pants. I don't know, esp about Claire, but I don't feel like Nancy would have done this if she were sober. Hmm...what else...according to Alcoholedu, I should be "dangerously" drunk, with a BAC of .117 LATER

/Edit - Sunday, Feb 11, 2007/
Okay, I should be completely sober by now. I don't think anything else particularly exiciting happened...V had sobered up by 1. Oh, I ended up having a total of 10-12 drinks...I lost count even though I had been trying to keep track by making tally marks on my hand. But the worst that happened was that I got a tad dizzy, and maybe my thought process slowed a bit, but I am still sure I remained quite sober, if not in the BAC-sense of the word.


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Fifteen

Classes:
I don't like my accounting teacher. My econ teacher is pretty cool; he really knows the topic and he seems nice. Same with my GVPT prof, and she's Jamaican. (V's genetics teacher is British; I'm so jealous.) WMST: ppl aren't really smart, and the teacher accepts all the stupid things they say like they're valid, intelligent comments. Nutrition: Nancy and I have nicknamed one of the profs Bojack. And then there's careers in business...not that exciting.

Today was fun. We (V, N, Claire, and I) made dinner: vegetable enchiladas. Then we decided to go to Cold Stone. Claire got a Love It, and then she got a burrito from Chipoltle's (sp?). I don't know where she puts it. But yeah, we should do that kind of thing more often. But then I'll never lose weight. Also, I always feel like the most boring person. I need to STOP THIS.

I again feel like I never have time to do any work. I think it's because there are more distractions here than there were at home. I could just sit in my closet for 8 hours with only the internet to lure me away from homework. Now the tv's right behind me, and if V wants to watch something, I probably will watch it too. And then there's so much to read. Besides text books, there's whatever book I'm read, whatever magazine, the newspaper if I pick it up, online articles...it's insane. And then I want to knit as well. And import my CDs. Argh. So much.

I managed to get my hands on a copy of the Washington Post yesterday at Tydings. Some interesting articles:

Twisting Arms Isn't as Easy as Dropping Bombs

Monday, January 29, 2007; Page A02

Whenever the United States goes to war, pro-war and antiwar advocates immediately reach for different history books. Hawks always equate the situation to a Hitler-Chamberlain standoff to show why hesitation can be fatal. Doves invariably pull the Vietnam War off the shelf to argue that plunging ahead can be foolhardy.

Two wars that the United States has launched against Iraq perfectly illustrate the problem with cherry-picking your history. Hawks and doves made their usual arguments before the 1991 Persian Gulf War and the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Antiwar advocates who predicted that forcing Saddam Hussein to retreat from Kuwait would result in thousands of U.S. casualties were proved wrong by Operation Desert Storm. And the neoconservatives who warned that ignoring Hussein's weapons of mass destruction was like appeasing Hitler now have egg yolk dribbling down their faces.

The history book getting the most attention right now is about the 1954-1962 French colonial war in Algeria. Hundreds of thousands of people died in that conflict before Algerian guerrillas handed the French army a humiliating defeat. President Bush said he is reading Alistair Horne's account of the conflict, "A Savage War for Peace," to glean insights about the U.S. predicament in Iraq. Horne, a British historian, recently told PBS's Charlie Rose that he sees similarities and differences between the U.S. war in Iraq and the French war in Algeria -- and hopes his book will help Bush find a way to succeed in Iraq.

Political scientist Patricia Sullivan recently decided to take a different tack than the political pundits. Rather than look for a single war to provide insight, Sullivan decided to look at all post-World War II conflicts between the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council and weaker nations.

Her findings will probably surprise you -- and would make for sober reading at the White House: Although the United States, the United Kingdom, France, Russia and China were militarily superior to their opponents in every one of the 122 conflicts that Sullivan studied, these powerful countries failed to win an astonishing 39 percent of their wars against weaker opponents.

Other research backs up Sullivan: New York University professor of politics Bruce Bueno De Mesquita has shown that, in conflicts between unequal powers over the past 200 years, the weaker country has outdone its stronger foe 41 percent of the time.

What is critically important to understand, said Sullivan, who works at the University of Georgia, is that the strong countries were not militarily defeated in the post-World War II conflicts. Despite their vastly stronger military capabilities, these countries unilaterally withdrew or got stuck in a stalemate, as the United States did in Korea, in two out of every five conflicts.

The United States' withdrawal from Somalia in 1993 -- precipitated by events chronicled in the book and movie "Black Hawk Down" -- was perhaps the most dramatic post-World War II example, "despite the fact that its military was, at most, only marginally degraded," Sullivan wrote in a paper she plans to publish in the Journal of Conflict Resolution.

For all the talk of "shock and awe" before the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003, Sullivan's research shows that military power alone is not a useful predictor of victory.

Sullivan found that powerful nations tend to win wars when all they seek is an opponent's submission, but tend to lose when victory requires an opponent's cooperation.

"On one end of the spectrum are things you can achieve with brute force," she said. "On the opposite end is getting an adversary to change a domestic or foreign policy -- you want the adversary to change his behavior."

Pushing Hussein's army behind a line in the 1991 Gulf War and overthrowing the dictator in the current war were aims that did not require the acquiescence of Iraqis; they could be achieved by brute force alone. But creating "a democratic Iraq that upholds the rule of law, respects the rights of its people, provides them security and is an ally in the war on terror" -- goals that Bush laid out in his State of the Union speech last week -- all require the cooperation of Iraqis.

Sullivan found that the five Security Council permanent members won three-quarters of conflicts in which their aims did not require their opponents' cooperation, but only half of the conflicts in which they did need cooperation.

For the United States, the disparity was even greater -- winning 81 percent of conflicts when cooperation was not required, but only 44 percent of the military interventions, such as in Laos in 1964 and Lebanon in 1982, that Sullivan described as having "coercive" goals.

"In other words," Sullivan concluded, "the United States has withdrawn its troops without attaining its primary political objective in 56 percent of the military interventions it initiated with a coercive war aim."

Sullivan's findings do not lend themselves to the automatic conclusions of the history cherry-pickers. Her research does not address which wars are worth fighting, and it shows that, although the odds are against it, the United States can lose wars that only require brute force and can win wars that require an opponent's cooperation. But this is what makes Sullivan's findings so relevant to the current debate over Iraq: She is in the science business, not in sales.



In First, Arab Muslim Joins Israeli Cabinet

Washington Post Foreign Service
Monday, January 29, 2007; Page A12

JERUSALEM, Jan. 29 -- Israel's cabinet on Sunday approved the first Arab Muslim minister of the Jewish state, a milestone marked here mostly by bitter criticism of what many lawmakers viewed as a politically motivated selection.

Raleb Majadele, a Labor Party legislator, was approved by a wide margin as minister without portfolio in Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's cabinet. Only Avigdor Lieberman, minister of strategic affairs from the Israel Is Our Home party, voted against the nomination.

Majadele's appointment is "a significant, historic step toward equality and peace in the region," said Amir Peretz, the Labor leader, who chose Majadele for a cabinet post several weeks ago during an ongoing fight for the party leadership.

An Israeli Druze, Saleh Tarif, was appointed minister without portfolio in 2001. But many of Israel's roughly 100,000 Druze, members of a sect that broke with Islam centuries ago, do not identify themselves as Arabs and serve in Israel's army.

By contrast, Israel's approximately 1 million non-Druze Arab citizens, whose families remained in Israel after its founding in 1948 and make up almost a fifth of the population, do not serve in the military and face barriers to owning land and securing equal public services. Most of them are Muslim.

Balad, one of several Arab parties that denounced Majadele's appointment, said in a statement that his service in the cabinet "would give a seal of approval to the policy of racial discrimination against Arabs."

Majadele, a leader in the Histadrut trade union organization that Peretz once headed, is from the northern city of Baqa al-Gharbiya.

Peretz, who serves as defense minister, has watched his popularity plummet because of the inconclusive war against Hezbollah last summer and the army's inability to stop Palestinian rocket fire from the Gaza Strip. He also backtracked on a pledge to leave Olmert's government if Lieberman were made a minister, which occurred in October.

Lieberman has favored a proposal that would strip more than 150,000 Israeli Arabs of their citizenship by redrawing Israel's eastern boundary in a way that would leave them in the Palestinian-controlled West Bank. He has also called for the execution of Israeli Arab lawmakers who meet with officials from Hamas, the radical Islamic party elected to run the Palestinian Authority a year ago.

Peretz selected Majadele at a time when he is being challenged for leadership of the Labor Party, a post that makes him Olmert's chief coalition partner. Many in the party viewed the move as a way to win back its more dovish elements.

Labor lawmaker Ophir Pines-Paz resigned in November as minister of science, culture and sport to protest Lieberman's cabinet appointment. Peretz initially named Majadele, 53, to fill that post. But he was made minister without portfolio pending what some lawmakers say is an imminent cabinet shuffle by Olmert to rejuvenate his unpopular government.

"I have no problem with an Arab minister, but it is not my job to help Amir Peretz with the primaries," Lieberman said after the cabinet vote.

In Gaza, meanwhile, violent clashes between the armed wings of the rival Fatah and Hamas movements continued. Media reports said that at least four Palestinians were killed Sunday and early Monday, including a member of the Hamas security force in Gaza, and that eight others were wounded by gunfire, adding to the scores injured in recent days. Also, Brig. Gen. Sayyed Shabban, a senior commander of a branch of the Palestinian security services controlled by Fatah, was abducted Sunday in Gaza.

Factional violence has erupted periodically since Hamas's parliamentary election victory, which ended Fatah's long monopoly on power. But the death toll since Thursday of at least 29 Palestinians, including several children, is the highest in months.

The clashes, limited largely to Gaza, have prompted Hamas to suspend talks with Fatah over the formation of a power-sharing government acceptable to international donors who cut off aid to the Palestinian Authority after Hamas's victory.

Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh of Hamas, which does not recognize Israel's right to exist, asked for calm Sunday before an emergency cabinet meeting.

Also on Sunday, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia offered an invitation to Hamas and Fatah leaders to hold talks in Mecca to end the fighting.



Currently watching: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart




Thursday, January 25, 2007

Fourteen

I'm not so sure V and I are back to normal. Things are still strange after all. We went to Starbucks last night, and we were talking about something, and it was a petty disagreement, over something on TV and I guess I pursued it too much (I don't think I was), and she said, "You know, it doesn't really matter." We had talked about this and said that we would say that to certain types of people (I forget what kind). She said something about being petulent but I pretended not to hear. And then when we were leaving, she and N were behind me and she signalled to Nancy that she had something to say (crossed fingers), and I think she didn't want me to see and that it was about me, but then N told her she didn't understand the signal and I figured out what was going on. V said she wanted to tell us something about the guy sitting next to us, but it sounded pretty lame and made-up. YES I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE I AM 11. But I don't know how to fix it. I think she doesn't like me anymore.
I keep tearing up. I cried in bed last night. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I meant a Chris Ray today. Michelle called, and I felt bad for dissing her the other day, so I called her back, and she wanted to do something so I invited her over to watch "American Idol" auditions, and she brought a friend, Justin, and he is so very much like Chris Ray it's scary. He's seen lots of movies, he'll 'experience-drop;' like, we were talking about something and he's like, "It's like that time when..." whatever, something random happened, and he expects us to be intrigued and ask him for details. I hate that. It's so annoying. So yeah, I could have had four hours to myself and I wasted it with people I don't particularly like. Grrr. Also, he touched Michelle a few times, like on the shoulder or arm or something, and now I feel like their dating or something. I remember her mentioning something about a guy asking her out, but I don't know. Speaking of Chris Ray, he has officially transferred here, and Nancy bumped into him today, and apparently he told her to call him later to hang out, but when we called him (I don't know why), he was busy (so I guess it turned out fine).  Jack Dong (Txuxo) has also transferred here, from Montgomery College.
As for the whole first day back, it wasn't bad. Nutrition seems boring and bio-y, so not fun. At least I have Nancy with me. Accounting...should be okay. The prof seems kind of annoying. He talks about himself a lot and jokes, but it's not really funny. Maybe it will be better. Olga is in that class with me. And then I had Careers in Business or some class, it seems like a load of bull. I can't believe it's two hours a week...I can't sit there for two hours listening to that. Gar. But at least it's not too bad. So I'm not complaining-complaining.

Currently Listening
The Very Best of Cat Stevens
By Cat Stevens
The First Cut is the Deepest - Jim Halpert's Lunchbreak Playlist
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Thirteen

I moved back all my stuff Sunday, but then decided to go back home. I don't know why. My excuse was that I had left some papers that I needed at home, but mostly I just wanted to be home. And then Aunt Mary was supposed to take me on Monday at 3, but at 2:40 I realized I'd lost my room key and ID. Wtf? I don't know. Maybe it was my subconscious telling me to stay home. So anyway, I just got a ride from V and her dad. Unpacked most of my stuff last night, tidied up today, requested a lock change -$60, and got a new ID - $20. But the school owes me over $1000, so it's not too big of a deal. But still. And now I can't find my moleskine, on which I spent ours ruling the lines so that it would be like a journal. Grr. Maybe I left it at home, but I swear I packed it. So frustrating.
But in better news, V and I seem mostly back to normal, so that is good. But every time I see her doing something, I feel guilty for not doing something. I need to stop comparing myself to her. But I can't shake this feeling that I am a complete failure, a lazy bum who will get nowhere in life. I don't know what to do about this. I need to DO something. But I don't know what to do. I guess I could write my resume. I need to figure out what I'm doing this summer. I feel sick.
Also homesick. Every time I see something my mom (or dad) gave me, I feel like I need to tell her how much I love her. I kind of wish I was a child again. I wish I was 10 or 12 or something. I miss being that. I miss being sure that there is nothing my parents couldn't do to protect me. I wish the security of living at home with people whose main priority is making sure that I'm safe and happy. I don't know what to do with myself.


From my grandmother's grandmother, I am the only daughter's daughter.

Currently Reading
Walden and Civil Disobedience (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (B&N Classics Trade Paper)
By Henry David Thoreau
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